Toe Beans, Dry Sandwiches & The Neuter Van

[00:00:38] You're listening to the Below Your Average IQ Podcast. Welcome back. I know you missed me. What, what? Missed us? Yeah, us. You missed us.

[00:01:07] That's some bullshit, man. Wink, wink. Okay. Wink, wink. That's how it is. Wink, wink. That's what we doing. He missed me too. What? I left abandoned. She did not abandon. I didn't. It was my mom's birthday. I had a birthday, a bullshit film reunion, and Cam's birthday. Yeah. All on the same day. It was a busy week. I mean, not really a week. Does everything just happen to be?

[00:01:36] Well, I guess for me it was busy because I was prepping at work to be gone for two days. And then we were prepping before the day of the party on Saturday. And then it was just like non-stop the whole four days I was gone. Like no vacation. But he had a good time. He had fun. He had a great time. A little high mess express. Face your hair is coming in. Need to shave. Yeah. I got to see his brother who was driving and that's just uncalled for. I'm not that old. Sure. Like, I just graduated high school.

[00:02:06] If that's what you got to tell you. Like a minute ago. Like a minute ago. And then when you sit and think about it, it was like 20 years ago. Rude. That's rude. Because we don't realize how fast time flies, but because it seems like it's going slow. 2006 was just yesterday. It feels like it. It was just yesterday. It feels like it. Ain't no way. Ain't no way it was longer than yesterday. But everybody had a good weekend. Everybody survived. Yeah. The young man is in pristine condition.

[00:02:32] He had, uh, pretty sure this one on the last episode. Because it happened after the last episode. His Tobing. Oh my God. Yeah. Y'all missed that. Oh my God. So we recorded. And then Tuesday, I think it was Tuesday night. This Tobing got weird. Listen, I like, so he'll, he'll like clean himself. And sometimes he's cleaning his whole body. So he spend a minute. Right. But normally you'll feel him like move and shift on the bed with you.

[00:02:59] When I tell y'all, and like a lot of times he'll do it. Like when he's laying in between our legs and stuff and we're laying down. And if we move him, like he stops. Right. He's like, okay, I've been doing it long enough. I'm done. Well, this particular night on Tuesday, I think it was, he would not stop. It didn't matter if I move my legs. It didn't matter if I. He was licking his foot. Like obsessively. He was just licking. The way you said it sounded like he was just licking himself. But I didn't know what he was licking. That's what I'm saying. It's like, he was just licking in the motion of licking and I didn't know what it

[00:03:29] was. And so I finally like got ahold of him, pulled him up to me and was like, I need to inspect what's going on. Like, I didn't know if it was like a ticket got in there. He's trying to get it out. I didn't know if it was like a stick or something. Like, I didn't know what it was. Right. And he had been licking around lunchtime too. And I didn't think anything of it. Right. And so once I started inspecting his whole body, I found that his toe being basically

[00:03:56] his pinky toe, the far one out on his right paw, the inside of that toe being where it touches the other toe was like licked raw. And I was like, and it was like swollen. Listen, so I didn't sleep. I had a whole relationship with Google and talk to what I needed, figured it out. And so I had to do like a makeshift thing through the night. I found an ace bandage fell off before the morning.

[00:04:24] And then I ordered like a cone, but one of the fancy ones, I didn't spend fancy money on it, but I got a fancy one. It is a snazzy little cone though. Yeah. It's like an inflatable neck pillow with a detachable like plastic cone. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's a little bit of both. Like he's getting some comfortability that he can wear more regularly. And then the cone extends so that he can't reach his paws. You know what I mean? So in the beginning, he was wearing that to sleep around the house and everything.

[00:04:53] He first day he was, she was, uh, public enemy. No more. I was persona non grata. When I tell y'all them reels on the tick tocks and the Facebooks, I tell you what? No joke. He side eyed me so hard. Like he looked at me like I had such audacity and I look back at him like I'm not the one that licked your toe being raw. Like you can't look at me like that. You know what I mean? I didn't do this.

[00:05:21] I didn't get in there and keep licking to just lick. But what had happened was a piece of like mud or something had gotten caked cause he's long haired and it had gotten caked between the two toes. And so it was missed and he was trying to get it out, which is why he was obsessively licking there. So it wasn't anything super serious like a cut or a scrape or anything. So thank goodness for that. He does irritate his skin. Yeah. And so, um, I ended up ordering stuff.

[00:05:48] Um, and you know, I covered it with a sock while I was at work and tried to like monitor him. I kept him on the leash near me so that he couldn't like go away and look at it anymore. And then when everything came, I like loaded him down. Right. And so I got like, I know. And so I got like pet tape and I got like the little like asphalt socks for if we're going to be outside more than a few minutes. And like, uh, he does a lot better in the socks than he does. The, um, he really prefers the socks. Yeah.

[00:06:17] He was weird. He didn't like them, but these socks are like grippy socks. You know what I mean? So they're definitely like a regular sock and I got them so that they just fit. So they're not too big and they're not too small. You know what I mean? And they're not for long term, right? Like you're not going to have them on him for like 16 hours. You know what I mean? Um, but then I got pet tape for instances where like the sock just isn't like what we want to do. And the pet tape worked really well to just keep it clean, you know?

[00:06:47] And then like through parking lots and stuff. And then, um, just removing it when I got inside, but he like had to go to the office with me and the cone and everything. And then we kept the cone on until I think it was like Sunday night. And then I gave him a bit of a break. And then Monday I started giving him a break. And then now he doesn't wear it during the day. He doesn't have anything covering the toe up in the toast. Finally, like healing, like the scabs finally falling off and like, we're good.

[00:07:15] Um, but every once in a while he still wants to get into it. So I've still been making him sleep in the cone. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just, just to be on the safe side. You know what I mean? Cause I'm not awake and I'd like to sleep. Um, so that was an adventure that we went through. Uh, Cam and I went toward the high school. Um, which it's the same high school I graduated from, but they've added multiple additions since I was there. Same teachers. Old as fuck. Uh huh. Not all of them are the same.

[00:07:45] Scotty. As the young man makes an appearance. Um, but we, we went into the school and so one of the new additions is like a two story section. So there's like an upstairs section. It's not very big. Um, and all his classes are basically upstairs. So he'll be taking the stairs a couple times a day. So we'll see how that goes. Um, and then the.

[00:08:11] Uh, the assistant principal in charge of, uh, exceptional learners is what they're called. Um, special education. She, she seemed really nice and understanding and she took time with Cam and made him feel comfortable. So he's pretty excited. Um, he was excited to see his brother this weekend. Um, they're about the same height. Uh, and we're, we're pretty sure that Cam might, might end up taller than him.

[00:08:41] So there's that. I don't think so. I, I think, I think Cam's got at least another small growth spurt in there. And I think, I think his brother's about done. Well, she's taller than you. No, she's shorter than I am. Oh, I'm taller than her. He might have it in him. You know what I'm saying? I don't think it'll be much. Don't, don't get it twisted. Just a smidge. You know what I'm saying? They're both about, about five, 10, five, 10 and a half.

[00:09:06] You know, I'm thinking he might reach just six, you know, like, like, I'm not saying he's going to be tall, tall. He going to be taller than me. That's for darn all short. My little five, four and a half, you know, like five, 10, five, 11 is the average height of American male. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm, I'm considered like a fucking giant. But like, I'm going to get it. King Drake called me that shit one day. I was like, no, I'm not. I'm done.

[00:09:35] I want to be like six, four. I mean, his dad was six, four. Freaking tall. But the shortness balanced it out. I know. That's what happened is I'm five, four. It's like, it just met in the middle. You know what I mean? Uh, but yeah, so that was fun. And I got to see, um, you know, that whole side of the family. So that was fun. His, his grandma came out, baby mama came out, brother came out, sister came out.

[00:10:03] Um, you know, my sister came out. So his aunt, uh, he had a great time. We, he, we took him over to the pool. The kids got in the pool. Yeah. So we have, um, that's the last birthday up there. Cause my parents are getting rid of the timeshare deed. Um, so that's the last birthday that we'll spend, but we did get Thanksgiving at a different resort up there. And then we're going to do Christmas, uh, at the regular timeshare before we, how are

[00:10:33] you going to do Thanksgiving up there when we talk to my mom's about Thanksgiving? We can, we can, well, you, you work on Thanksgiving. So I assume maybe we would do Sunday. That's crazy. You know what I mean? You're going to be working. That's wild. Otherwise you don't get time and a half. That's wild. You already know I'm right. That's crazy. You know what you need? No. Need some mayonnaise. I need no fucking mayonnaise.

[00:11:02] Y'all should have heard us in here tonight. So I say mayonnaise. Okay. I don't know why I say it that way. I just say mayonnaise. Okay. It's mayonnaise. It's mayonnaise. Somehow my mayonnaise has turned into mayonnaise, like Jen a from Forrest Gump. You know what I'm saying? And I'm just like cracking up. And then you said something hilarious. You told me I was eating wet. Cause we were talking about sandwiches. Cause I don't like stuff like that on my sandwich. Like I don't like wet bread at all. So like, I like a dry sandwich.

[00:11:31] I can't remember what I called it, but you was pretty much. I think you called them like what? Raw dog specials or something. Yeah, you eat raw dog. I was, when I say I lost it. I couldn't breathe. Raw dog specials. People that don't know. Couldn't breathe. Geez. It doesn't matter what kind of sandwich. You don't want. I don't want nothing on it. What do you get on your burgers? You might get ketchup and mustard. So if I'm feeling, if I'm feeling good, I might throw like, put a little mustard on there. Nine times out of ten is just ketchup. And I don't need a lot of ketchup. Okay.

[00:12:01] When she gets like cold cut subs and shit from like, Subway or Jersey Mike's or anything. Lettuce and cheese. Or meat and cheese. That's it. That's all I want. Thick ass, dry, choke on your fucking... You know what's crazy? My favorite thing to order from Wawa. You got the sandwiches that when you finish eating, you gotta scrape the other half of the sandwich from the roof for your mouth. Subway. No, that's not the case. So my favorite thing to get from Wawa, this is I'll just share with you guys.

[00:12:26] I love to get a plain non-toasted bagel with turkey and double American cheese. Nothing else on it. No mayonnaise, no mustard, no barbecue sauce. Nothing. You know what that sound like? It's delicious. Cut it in half, let me eat it. You know what that sound like? Dinner. It's only fucking dry. Wawa. That's not... That's the part I don't think people understand. You know what, you know...

[00:12:54] It's like the turkey is so moist and you got the cheese in there. I like how you said Wawa and moist turkey in the same sentence. Yeah! But you know what that sound like? It sound like you be eating a sandwich over there like... By your whole body you swallowed when you do that. That's what happens when you eat them dry ass sandwiches. That's what happens when you eat a dry ass sandwich. Not me. You've watched me eat a dry sandwich and he'll say something about it being dry and then I eat it just like it's a regular sandwich. You need every muscle in your body to get that dry shit down.

[00:13:23] Absolutely not. I tell them like my mouth just moist so like maybe I just... I'm my own... I'm my own mayonnaise at this point. But I don't eat no mayonnaise. Don't never say that again. Don't never say that again. We've been having weights. I've been laughing too hard tonight. But yeah, I'm excited. So this week is catching up. Cam's gonna start soccer soon in September. For who? Let's complete the puzzle. We're gonna do some soccer.

[00:13:52] I know he ain't going for no team. School starts back for him the Tuesday after Labor Day, but everybody else started school today. They should've been back at school. Yeah. Out of Hampton Roads, our city was the only one that didn't start back today. Every other city started back today, except for Chesapeake. That is all for no reason. Yeah. Just... We'll see y'all. We'll see y'all in a week. See y'all in a week.

[00:14:19] So sometime next week, we're going to meet with the IEP team, get to know everybody, etc. And then they should be posting their class schedule sometime today or this week, early this week. I don't know. So I'm excited about that. And then he has his last physical therapy session this coming Wednesday. It's just been busy.

[00:14:49] It's just been busy. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then I left him here for days to fend for himself. She means she left me here for days. Yeah. Because you didn't give clear transitions. Sorry, my bad. I left him here. You here. Yeah, I was perfectly fine. He didn't act like it, y'all. Survived. He... Treated myself to good breakfast. He sure did. Came back bags everywhere. I said, what in the world?

[00:15:18] Treated myself to good lunch. Did all the good food. He could have gone to the store. Could have did a lot of shit. Probably could have. But I didn't. Crazy part is, he didn't get himself no extra drinks. I damn sure didn't. He stayed thirsty. Living on a prayer. What? Get the moisture out the air. Yeah. You know? Osmosis. And then I lose it at nighttime because I sleep with my mouth open and my throat be dry. Listen, you...

[00:15:45] That was the only thing I was worried about was were you going to survive the nights? Because nobody would be here to wake you up. I did. I made it. I mean... That's all that matters. It... It concerned me because then we got home, you were sleeping and I laid next to you and you stopped breathing like four times. I'm like, he really was testing somebody's patience. I ain't leave me. Listen. I ain't the one that left. Listen, right? It was my fault because I left and he... I ain't the one that went down the street. He fell out.

[00:16:14] No, I went to Williamsburg. You went down the street. Pretty much. Like a staycation. You said that shit like y'all went somewhere. Listen. Oh my gosh. If I can get there in 30 minutes, it's down the street. And the last meal we had out was at... It was at Plaza's Checkup in Williamsburg. And we got served by a robot. They got robots? They got robots. So listen... I messed up on the robot. So it started with ordering, right?

[00:16:41] So I ordered and I got Boya Patron and I ordered it just like that. Nothing super fancy. White accent on that word. Right? Like no... Nobody was trying nothing. And then my mom has her menu up and she goes, how about you read this for me to make sure I pronounce it right? So I'm like, Lord, what is she ordering? You know what I mean? And so I look over and in the menu it literally says, in English, chicken and spinach.

[00:17:10] And I was like, really? Then she's laughing. The waiter is cracking up. You got chicken and spinach? She got chicken and spinach enchiladas. Don't know how I feel about it. She loved it. She thought it was delicious. And so then we put our order in. Everything was good. We're minding our business. Literally minding our business. And then all of a sudden out of the corner, because I'm sitting not looking at anything, right? So my anxiety is calm.

[00:17:36] So out of the corner, this robot rolls up and he's got like a front and a back that have like words and stuff on them that the restaurant displays. And then he's got like four trays that they put the food on. And then they program in which table to take it to. And he knows the food. Oh, you're just talking about like... Like the little delivery robot. I thought you meant like hands, feet, walked. No, like a little roller robot. Like a little R2-D2. Yeah!

[00:18:05] And when he goes, so when he's coming, it's like caution, plates, hot, like, etc. And then when he's leaving, the back is like one of those word banners where the words go across. And it's like, enjoy your meal. I'm like, I know it doesn't have good manners too. It's, it whips around the corner though. Like your food better be set correctly on them trays because it will... Well, they probably got tired of fucking service taking service. Even the waiter was like, and it speed up right here.

[00:18:35] Cause it was like the straightaway and there's nothing in its way. He know where the hall is. He said it get top speed right here. We're just cracking up like it's gonna put you out of a job. He goes, no, we gotta make sure it doesn't run into nobody. And I said, stop it! Listen, it was so cool to be served by a robot though. I was like, this is the best thing I've ever seen. It was so good. They left me in the house for two days and go get served by a robot. I know! And then decided to come and brag about it. That's what we thought? It was so funny. Sure. Okay.

[00:19:04] Okay, I'm getting my own goddamn robot. Stop it! Yep. See what we're doing here. Listen, we ordered in mellow mushroom pizza. It's just really good pizza. There's nothing. I mean, you like pizza though. I know, I love it. Oh, they have the brass crust. Bubba's had good pizza. No, I mean like this is like, I want to take you here. They're good pizza. Okay, we going in some mediocre ass pizza.

[00:19:34] I'm gonna be the holiday this morning. Well, it's good. I like it. And then, uh, what else did we have? We went to Chick-fil-A. You ain't gotta talk about the unspecial restaurants. Oh, Chick-fil-A is always special. No, it's not. Um, Scotty had to work hard. Boy was tired. He always works hard. He need his own vacation. Hmm? You should've left him here with me. I don't know that I would've served.

[00:20:04] Go ahead and shit. I know. Well, it's cause we changed it up. Oh, and I got a new chair since we last, we last interacted with y'all. Um, so we know that my rocking chair had broken and we, we of course didn't get any wood glue, but we did get a surprise and he ordered me a new chair and it came. And I was like, whoo, whoo, whoo. And then we put it together. It actually came early as shit too. It did. And then we put it together and then I had a moment. Um, so it has like the reclining foot rest thing that comes out.

[00:20:33] And when I tell y'all that I put it on correctly, had him assist with like screwing in the bolts and then was like, I don't think I put it on correctly. So I made him take it off. She switched it like four times. I switched it around. And then I was like, I don't think this is right either. Made him take it off again to put it back on how I originally had it. And then I took the stuff from him to do it two more times before I finally was like, this is how it's supposed to be on. It was, that was the only part that I hiccuped on the rest of the, the rest of the chair went together. Great. But it's so cool.

[00:21:03] It like both arms go all the way down and then come back up. So, so Scotty gets to sit with me and it reclines and it got a little, little footstool thing. And it's so comfortable. I did have to put my lumbar support from my computer chair on there just because like, I got short legs and it was hurting my back a little bit without the lumbar support. She got short legs. I got short legs. Listen. Be dangling, dangling.

[00:21:33] And so sometimes it's really hard. So it's like, I'm just gonna put this on here. Um, but it's been pretty good. It's been pretty good this week. Um, yeah, I'm trying to think if, if there was anything else. You got anything? Nothing crazy really happened. It was chill. Uh, we started watching Wife Swap. Yo, the British version in the UK. British version. If you want some interesting TV, the first couple of seasons of the British version.

[00:22:03] Cause she was watching, she clicked on it and they were in like Australia. Yeah. And the Australian people were nice. Yeah. They're all like, Oh, this is great. Oh, this is great. Oh, let's be friends afterwards. The British people was like, no, fuck you, bitch. You can fuck out my house though. I know these, these British ones, like I'm on the American. So, and it was so funny cause we, I started watching the South African ones. That's what it was. It was like South African. Yeah. And they were pretty nice. They were so polite.

[00:22:33] Like, even when they were upset, it was still the most polite upset I've ever seen. Right. And I'm like, this is so different than the American version of Wife Swap. And like, cause the American version of Wife Swap, sometimes you have like good episodes and like all the people are okay. Sorry. All the people are okay. And then other times it's like, they're fighting with each other. They don't agree. They get real nasty during that like interview thing at the end. But boy, he, we, he found the UK version.

[00:23:03] And I was like, never have I ever in my whole life seen these, these people don't even make it through to two weeks. Yeah. When they're done, they're done. One group made it like four days, five days. Listen, listen, I was like, this is wild, but I'm here for it. I love some drama. So sign me up. Yeah. Good job. British couldn't, couldn't be me. Um, British white swap making it look bad out here. What? I mean, it is from back in the day though.

[00:23:32] Um, it is definitely from back in the day. You know what I'm saying? You want to do some questions? I don't have very many. I don't have questions. We've got questions. I got questions. I find them. And when I come across them, I send them to myself. Okay. So these are questions that you have to answer with one number. So I don't need anything else. Just a number. Okay. How many minutes into our first date? Did you decide there should be a second one? I don't know.

[00:24:02] Oh, okay. How are you putting minutes on that? I don't know. Like how long ago it was? In the first minute, I knew. You know what I was saying? How long ago that was? I know. Oh, coming up on seven years. We had a good time though. We had a good time though. Yeah. We're coming up on seven years. We went to the Mexican and the movie. And the movies. And he got me a unicorn. You was like, I got this Mexican restaurant you was going to love. And I went there and I loved it. It's been my favorite Mexican ever since. Yep.

[00:24:31] We had a great time though. Yeah. Um, what percentage of our arguments would disappear if we both ate first? And we don't really have like arguments. So like, if we ate first, yeah. I mean none. I never really had a hundred percent. I never really had a hangry. I get hangry a lot. You always hangry. I know. Um, how many of my outfits could you identify just from the sleeve? None. Love that for you.

[00:25:02] How many? Who the fuck's like, yeah, that's a sleeve. This is, this is a, this is a great one. How many unread texts for me before you assume either gossip or a disaster? Most of your texts are like gossipy. Like memes and reels. It's never really like a disaster or emergency. Like. No. Cause my emergency is everybody else's like baseline. Like for me, an emergency is not an emergency.

[00:25:32] But for me, it is an emergency. Who the fuck's texting an emergency anyway? I would assume you would call. No. On a scale from one to 10. How worried are you if I bring a tiny clipboard to date night? One. Okay. I don't think clipboard would probably just be something like writing some random stuff down or. You know what I'm saying? Nothing crazy. Um, okay. So these are, uh, before bed questions.

[00:26:01] The question game is lacking today. I know. Does lightning McQueen pay car insurance or life insurance? Lightning McQueen? Yeah. Car insurance. Or is it life insurance? Oh, he's a car. Who's alive. Is he alive or are we hallucinating? Either way. He's alive. He's winning races. He's got a love of his life. We hallucinate. He ain't alive. Well, there's that.

[00:26:30] Uh, if another girl and me text you at the same time, who are you responding to first? Say that again. I said, if another girl and me text you at the same time, who are you responding to first? Well, the only people I talk to. There's not very many girls that he talked to. But to be honest, you'd probably reply to them first because probably whatever I'm talking about is some nonsense. So, I mean, it's either. There's literally like three. It's either Kingdra's wife. Right.

[00:27:00] I guess four. Your mom. I don't count my mom. Baby girl. Portia. Portia and Iris. Yeah. I mean, that's it. Yeah. And I know all of them. I mean, that's it. Uh. I don't think there's very many other ones, but you would definitely hit them up first and I would just wait. Yeah. Nothing crazy is never happening. No. And I'm always, I'm always doing nonsense anyway.

[00:27:29] Uh, if I was a fart, would you hold me in or let me go? Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. I don't know the other words. I know we don't want to get clocked by the Disney. So we're not going to sing all the other words. Yeah. Cause we sound just like the song. You know what I'm saying? We don't want the Disney algorithm to pay attention to these random ass people. Would you block every girl you follow right now?

[00:27:58] If I asked you to know, because there's no reason I would ever ask. How am I following? You don't hear. Was I prettier when you first met me or now? When you first met me. I already know. Listen, cause I've, I'm comfortable now. Listen, I see. I see. Can I see that? I don't know how to take that. Listen, this question. You just got to put two and two together.

[00:28:26] This is a question that I would ask you. Okay. Are you ready? You're not ready. Can I put glitter on them to make them disco balls? Fuck it. No, no. I don't want no forms of glitter. Why not? No, I'm assuming you're talking about my balls. I don't want no forms of glitter. You're disco balls. What? Oh, okay. Let me see. I think I have one more set.

[00:28:55] These ones are supposed to be rage bait. So we'll see what happens. Okay. I don't really rage. I know. Do you love me because I'm pretty or do you think I'm pretty because you love me? Say that again. Do, do, do. Do you love me because I'm pretty or do you think I'm pretty because you love me?

[00:29:27] Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. No, because the way I look at that. The way I look at that, I feel like people like what they like. Mm-hmm. So it's kind of like you be walking down the street, you can see somebody like fucked up. Mm-hmm. And they, and then somebody be with them and they be completely happy?

[00:29:55] I think, I think for you it was, I was pretty when you like. That's crazy. I was pretty when you met me, but now I'm pretty because you love me. Okay. That's not what it is? Sure. Okay. That's what we wanted to be, ladies and gentlemen, and everybody else. If I had an identical twin, would you have picked her? What, the same issues? I don't know, maybe not. Both of y'all fucked up?

[00:30:24] No, let's have her not like me. I don't know. I also believe the grass ain't greener on the other side. Right. Right, because my little bit of crazy will scare everybody off. Um, would you rather have never met me or lose me tomorrow? That sucks. I know. I've never met you at that point. Damn, you don't want to hurt from my loss? My loss won't teach you nothing? Who wants the pain?

[00:30:49] Who wants to be all sad and depressed and fucking sit in the corner and be crying to yourself when you could just be like, damn, I ain't had this. Like if you ain't never had the, the, the, the fucking sadness. It's like when you talking to people, like we be joking at work. You on that table, man. Oh no, I'm not good at it yet. We be joking at work about, and we be like, yeah, bro ain't never went through the pain. Mm-mm.

[00:31:15] And then you be talking to somebody and I'll be like, bro, who hurt you? Right. I'll be like, I hurt my damn soul. Rate me out of 10. There is a correct answer. What are we talking about? Rate me out of 10. 10. There's a correct answer. What's the correct answer? The correct one. Correct answer is 10. Yes, it is. Ha ha. Yes, it is. 10 out of 10.

[00:31:45] You recommend. Figure it out. Listen. Oh man. Good times. Good times. Also, I went to Starbucks. Starbucks. Um, and I ordered the new, uh, the butterfly lemonade that they got, but I ordered it ball-less. It was pretty good. You told me. I know. I was telling them. Oh. I'm fucking. You're over here like, yeah, you already told me. I got bullshit my lemonade anyway. Who the fuck? What?

[00:32:15] What do we have in the head those little red balls in them? Some blue, blue something. Don't like it. I asked her. I was like, I got a weird question. She goes, I got a weird answer. I said, cool. I really want that thing because it looks delicious. Um, and it looks like exactly what I want, but can I get it without any balls? I don't want any balls in it. First off. I don't know about the boba tea. Mm-mm. I don't know what that is. I don't want to have to chew my lip. What I'm saying when we had the blue thing.

[00:32:45] Yeah. The balls really didn't add any flavor. No, they were for color. More than anything. Fuck that. Yeah. Well, and that's what she said. She's like, it's really just for color. I could put like mango syrup or something in there. And I was like, I don't need it if you didn't need it. You take up the amount of space that they take up. So much space. It's like half your fucking drink. It was so good without them. Yeah, like it's fucking stupid. But I was like, I got, I got my dog ball list when I got him. I liked my drink ball list too. Don't talk about the.

[00:33:14] You know what I'm saying? Don't talk about the young man balls. Oh my God. Speaking of speaking of taking balls. So my parents, we all know called about a cat, right? So they got this kitten. His name's Finch. He's adorable, but he's coming up on the age that one would get neutered. Okay. And so they've been pricing it out because the rescue will pay for it, but they have to drive all the way out like 45 minutes to an hour to get to the place that the rescue is going to pay for.

[00:33:41] So they called like their own vet that they use for their other cat and that I use for, for the young man. And that said $700 to take two tiny, tiny balls. I said, can't you just know, I mean, no, I mean, I know they're going to do it the proper way, but like, nevermind. Listen, a snip van will do a base on your income. I don't, a snip van. What is that?

[00:34:09] It's a van to pull up to a parking lot. What? It's a van that pulls up. Are you serious? Yeah. They call them snip vans and they like, they go to different, uh, veterinary clinics, shopping centers, et cetera. You don't let a rando in a van just clip your. You take your pets. Nah. Nah. And they, they bring them back and they do snook snook in the back of a van and then they bring them out. But it's like the big, like, you know, the blood donation van. So it's not like a little, like. I don't care. Passenger.

[00:34:39] I don't care. It's been converted or anything. I don't just, cause you have a nicer van don't mean it's okay. And then there's like, and then, so PETA also offers, uh, like a spay and neuter program. Right. But like, uh, we're definitely not paying $700, but $700 is wild to request to get little snip snip. I'm like, there's just, they're just tiny. It's like a 10 pound cat. People that care about your pets, do it the right way. Take it to the vet.

[00:35:08] I don't know what she's talking about with some random man fucking van pull up in a Walmart parking lot. Cut your, cut your pets balls off. I'm going to look it up. I don't want to see it. I'm going to look it up. No. Why? I don't want to see about a fucking shady ass van in the Kroger parking lot snipping cat balls. It's just a spay and neuter van. Okay. All right. Almost 48. Never heard of that shit a day in my life. They've got a, it's like, so PETA has PETA snip mobile clinic. It's a mobile unit that travels.

[00:35:38] And then there's the, the like Virginia beach SPCA has the neuter scooter. That's a mobile veterinary clinic. That motherfucker is on a scooter. Clipping your pets balls. No. It's not on a scooter. It's a hole. Like. Why they call it scooter then? Cause it's, it rhymes. It's fun to say. No. Ain't nothing fun about it. You're going to take it to the neuter scooter. No. You know. No. Stop.

[00:36:06] Motherfucker in a van cutting your damn, your dog's balls off. What's that? No. That's crazy. I mean. And then it's, oh my God. Oh. That's some black market shit, man. It is not. You wonder why your eggs and IHOP taste funny. He said that's turkey sausage. Stop it. No. No.

[00:36:36] No. Stop it. No. No. Listen. You got the neuter scooter, the snip mobile. That's crazy, man. There's, there's. There's literally like us. Like vans. That's what you want to call it? Mobile units. That is animal abuse. Shouldn't no pet be getting his balls snipped? In the back of a van. It's scary.

[00:37:05] I mean really they just gotta lay them back spread your legs bust it open for a minute never heard about it I ain't never been riding down the street I ain't never been riding around the street and seen no neuter scooter or no um no spade van or none of that shit I ain't never seen that shit I ain't never seen people in the parking lot lined up with pets to get their damn pets snip I'm just saying that is some bullshit

[00:37:36] maybe mama she uh I think it was her that took over like 10 feral cats or something like that paid like 100 bucks fucking crazy does it take them all in she just kidnapping strangers getting them clipped you don't want more was they her cats yeah they were around the street so not her cats yeah they were family cats so not her cats her family's cats so friends of her cats no

[00:38:06] like you just said feral feral means they share there's like multiple properties on the same piece of property and the cats live there feral feral means unowned no feral means undomesticated right that's because that doesn't mean unowned that's because they're unowned if they're feeding them I own it no you fed them so they would come to you so you would snatch them up put them in the back of your van and get them get them clipped that is crazy so you got

[00:38:35] scooter scooters you got 10 you got 10 young sirs running around there wondering where the balls went it's spay and neuter they do both that is crazy they'll take the lady parts out too scooping them out scoop the cooch out right in the back of the van yeah that is ripped them both ain't no way I've never heard of that before that's wild because you lived out in the country so I would assume you would have heard of it never heard of that before yeah I grew up around there they're all over the place savages I mean

[00:39:06] what else happened you got any other wild and crazy stories you even put me on to some new shit I like to I like to do that for you I like to expand your horizon you damn sure did you know I ain't never heard of that before well you also don't know a lot of people who don't eat the mayonnaise so I know predominantly a lot of people you eat shit with mayonnaise in it I already told you there's a difference no it's not there's a difference when it's an ingredient that aids the meal and when it's literally so much

[00:39:35] that it's on your face if you choose to lather up your sandwich and mayonnaise that's on you that's disgusting most people that I know aren't putting so much mayonnaise on a sandwich that it's lathering up their face shouldn't be none right just cause you wanna sit there the sandwich should just be moist on it's own the meat should be moist why do y'all have dry meat

[00:40:05] y'all it's just silent because the way he looked at me it was wild it's just crazy like I don't understand why your meat is so dry shit's crazy man you ever had potted meat like from the can yeah no that's us gross you ain't never tried it dog food you ain't never tried it no you should try some I had I had corned beef one time I was good on anything in that

[00:40:34] in that genre it was not who made it my friend's grandma from I don't know where they're originally from Texas I think you were here when you tried it yeah they still live down the street my friend he actually texted me he goes have you seen granddaddy and grandmama I said I did see him a couple months ago I said I ain't looked in on him do I need to go knock he goes no I said the cars keep moving he goes that's all

[00:41:03] I need to know I said sound great have a great day nice cause he knows I like lived down the street from his grandparents house and I was best friends with his sister growing up so every once in a while he'll check in on his grandparents he cracks me up he'll check in on his grandparents by calling somebody else yeah cause sometimes they'll say they're doing stuff and they're not doing it that means they don't wanna fucking talk to you that's not how it works what that's not how it works what do you mean

[00:41:33] that's not how it works we got eyes everywhere we watch out okay family's important motherfuckers don't wanna talk to you I waved to granddaddy he works I think he still works man's gotta be in his 90s ain't no way I'm 90 years old still working he's wild and he love a bib overall a what a bib overall bib a bib overall a bib overall a bib overall the bib overall it's like you put them on the whole suit and you button it up and you got the collar

[00:42:03] and it's like blue they call them bib overalls bib overalls yeah they're not these overalls or coveralls no overalls are just the ones with the clip and the jean overalls okay they might be called a coverall but they're bib overalls yeah those overalls no overalls are the jean ones that just have the straps yeah I got coveralls in the closet they're like

[00:42:32] they're like sleeveless bib overalls that's why they don't have the bib on them they're just overalls what else you got going on the way it was hard for you to swallow just like because you like I can't keep going drunk on my soda my mouth looks dry over here yeah man give me just one moment just cause you got some fucking tea asshole

[00:43:03] and then I choked on it I think that's about all I got we got the walk pad we did get the walk pad I don't think we had the walk pad last time I think we got it after the last episode like right after the last episode I be randomly walking on it yeah he does he does a good job with it I am not good at it it's in a corner and I don't see it so that's crazy cause they know where it is yep I know where it is I don't see it yep

[00:43:33] yep I hope put it there yeah I need to slide that chair down a little bit help to install it like how you said install it just pull it out the box install complete install I need to slide that chair down a little bit cause I still bump the wall we uh cause I don't walk in a straight line mostly cause you ain't put that long up for nobody to use yeah I do need to put that up too yeah we can do that maybe tomorrow that's crazy that's wild

[00:44:04] so crazy what I know crazy part is right before I bought that fucking walk pad I had a buddy down in uh runo rapids that gave away a elliptical and a walk pad or a treadmill for free I would've I wish I had seen that I would've been hauling ass down there to get that right like you would've definitely made it work definitely would've figured that shit out

[00:44:30] back to our normal thank you for making face static fuck out of here man every time he laughs like that I think he'll pop high but um oh olive pop high is tripping olive oil is not worth it pop high fucking wild stop it

[00:44:59] kept over there getting fucked up by brutus and shit listen man he was strung out on spinach shit them grippy socks fucking good old olive oil you know what I'm saying she got them grippy socks it's like they say about peach and uh mario you gotta keep rescuing peach yeah like bro she keep going over there she don't wanna get rescued peaches peaches peaches peaches peaches so we're back to our normal

[00:45:29] scheduled programming yeah uh nothing all the uh birthdays and holidays and came and gone yeah the next one's thanksgiving um i think we're planning to do mythical creatures as the halloween theme to pass out candy i don't even think about halloween i know because you work and then i don't think about halloween and then um thanksgiving and then

[00:45:59] christmas and i get labor day off that's crazy i know that's crazy i know other than that you got anything i don't think so i think it was good i figured out the uh i ain't gonna start figuring out i was playing around with it yesterday got the program set up we should be able

[00:46:30] to make a recording of remember me and oh me and dread and judgment the skit y'all wanna do no listen to what i'm saying remember i said me and judgment wanted to record episodes oh so i still got a few things to figure out but for the most part i think we're good to go maybe

[00:47:01] that'll be next week or the week after it happens when it happens but i think i figured out what i needed to do will i be on that one with y'all or just y'all probably just be the guys at first oh and then i'll figure out how to incorporate because you gotta understand what we got going on here y'all y'all get to talking serious and i'm just a hot mess that likes to laugh so but you gotta but people have to understand

[00:47:30] like there's two different mixers for two different things well and there's a dual pc setup going on there's a lot of shit happening i know it get warm in here because of it no it doesn't it doesn't get that bad but i think i figured it out so maybe uh fall goes well maybe sunday we can do a special recording oh i gotta figure out because i ain't seen bro online in a minute i know he moved or moved some shit

[00:48:00] around i can't remember exactly what happened who judgment oh but i ain't um really got to talk to him in a minute well he still he still hits me when he listens to the episode so i definitely appreciate it and uh jessica hits me up and she comments you know you'll figure it out because you're smart good job brain soft as hell now i ain't got the same brain i had 20 years ago so you know the difference though

[00:48:32] you know the difference i realize it's all about the patience yeah like 20 years ago i had patience to do whatever you asked me to do no like i got no patience i could sit and fuck with something no matter how hard it was until i figured it out and then i was like bro i figured it out now bring me to 2026 i got about a good five minutes and then it's like fuck it we'll try again another day oh i'm not giving up on it i will figure it out but i'll be yelling at everybody else while

[00:49:02] i do it because i got no patience while i'm figuring it out the person that should have a lot of patience actually has no patience and i ordered some uh stuff i seen on instagram oh i'm gonna do some reviews okay and see if they compare to the way the people in the ads are acting okay so i'm waiting on that stuff to come and then i got some other stuff i gotta record okay make some shit happen he about to be busy sure but uh she's not

[00:49:31] never alive anything else you got no no no no well it's actually in discord so we could have it we could figure out a way to make it happen it'll be like we can have baby girl in there judgment can get in there um you what is what you hitting shit i'm struggling tonight leave me alone like just stop

[00:50:01] moving oh we had these i don't know what they were called they're like loaded tater tots so good except for the dry rub on the outside you side i'd be one more time but we had these loaded tater tots from buffalo wild wings the picture was definitely deceiving because the picture was huge

[00:50:32] amazing uh but just like i said deceiving because the picture they just look like golden tater tots and then when you get them they got like some kind of like a two by three inch tube they got like some kind of dry rub in them not not not not spicy no but it was seasoned but some kind of seasoning don't need the seasoning like i i think they would be perfectly fine if it was just tater tots with whatever maybe the season has some part of holding

[00:51:02] it together i don't think so i think they dusted it at the end don't need it no but the actual tater tots were good yeah like would it be amazing like a loaded hash brown casserole tot with the with the uh with the little dry rub on them i'd say they're like a seven yeah without it though like when i was tearing mine apart if i ate the inside first definitely better bro i'd give them like a seven seven and

[00:51:31] a half and then like if they were just golden with none of that bullshit on them i could see like a strong like nine eight like nine point eight no yeah but uh they're damn good do you have anything else uh no me neither check us out thanks for listening we missed you too we'll see you next week you you you